We're facebook friends in real life
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
