carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
