I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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