it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
