My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Dick very happy bro
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
