I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Life is so much better after having sex.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Panties = found
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
