Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
