Dual....:-)
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you would pick up someone in the library
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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