How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
