Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I believe in your delicious
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
