I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
