I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
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