maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
