I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
