I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Sorry my hands just texted you
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
