shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
