Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You are a genius and a whore.
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