ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
