I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
