just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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