"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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