So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize