Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
What changed your mind?
Being sober
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
