): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
