Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
