Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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