I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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