it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize