i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
