It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
