we're blogging at a bar
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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