Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I wish i was in the wii world.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
