Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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