An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
