I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
