the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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