I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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