My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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