Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
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