hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Pants are for mortals
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
