You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
