well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
