Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
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