if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
