that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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