Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
