I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize