I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
