The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
