like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
