i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
