I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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