My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
