Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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