i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize