you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
