There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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