You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
